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You are in the scale between anxious and secure attachment style, leaning towards anxious.

Updated: May 20, 2023

You place a high value on emotional intimacy in your relationships and are comfortable being close to your partner. However, you may occasionally worry that your partner doesn't share the same level of emotional connection, and this can sometimes cause you to feel anxious or preoccupied.

Your sensitive and empathetic nature means that you are attuned to changes in your partner's mood and actions, and you may feel easily upset by perceived emotional distance. However, with the right level of security and reassurance from your partner, you can feel content and at ease in your relationship.

While you may be more prone to anxiety and worry than someone with a completely secure attachment style, your ability to feel secure and trusting with your partner allows you to maintain a healthy balance between independence and emotional connection. Overall, your attachment style reflects a mix of anxious and secure tendencies, characterized by a desire for intimacy and the need for reassurance and security in your relationships.

Establish healthier relationships as early as today:

Besides therapy, here are 3 ways in which the securely attached could establish healthier relationships as early as today:

Communicating your needs effectively

When we're anxiously attached, we might neglect our emotional needs and put all our focus on our partner. It's important to be honest about your needs with your partner and to find ways to communicate them in an effective way. Be direct about what you want from the relationship and talk about your fears and concerns. Effective communication will help your relationships improve significantly, and your partner will also appreciate your honesty and openness, which usually will lead to increased understanding and support from them.

Self-soothing activities

The ability to self-soothe is essential for anxiously attached individuals.There are many activities that can help us do so, and it often depends on the individual as to what works best. Some common self-soothing activities include reading, listening to calming music, spending time in nature, practicing yoga or meditation, and writing in a journal. Make time for these activities when stressful and overwhelming emotions surface during the day. As you practice, you will be surprised how much better you feel.

Avoid the avoidants, embrace the secure

Individuals with an avoidant attachment style may withdraw when intimacy arises. Their need for space and misunderstanding of independence will always clash with our anxious attachment need for closeness and reassurance. As opposed to anxious individuals who want their needs met by getting closer to their romantic partner, the avoidantly attached partners view intimacy as a threat. It could be a vicious cycle of codependency in a relationship.

Therefore, the anxiously attached adult who seeks intimacy with others should find someone who has a secure attachment style. Those who are securely attached do not fear intimacy, and they could help anxious to become more secure.

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Here's to healthy and secure relationships 🍷

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